Lost and Found
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It’s been 3 weeks since I last saw my sister. She’s been missing, officially, for 12 days but no one knows how long for certain. She went on a solo camping trip in the woods on Friday March 8th. She was supposed to be back the following Wednesday but she said she might stay as late as Saturday if the weather was nice. So no one thought anything of it until Monday when she didn’t show up for work.
Sue has always been a little unpredictable. She’s the baby of the family and the favorite, so she practically gets away with murder. Especially after mom died. They looked so much alike dad just could never say no to her. And Sue knew it. She’d constantly push curfews and stay out late or randomly take off with her boyfriend for the weekend without telling anyone. Dad would just shrug and say “She’s a free spirit. Like her mom.”
When she was old enough to drive, dad got her this old Jeep for her birthday. The thing was a heap but it ran like a dream and she loved it. Once she had the jeep, seeing her at home was a rarity. Any chance she got, she’d take off for some outdoor excursion. Not always alone, but she didn’t wait around for tagalongs. If she got the urge she would act on it. She enjoyed the solitude, she was at home in nature. She told me once, “You can’t get closer to god than being alone in the wild.” Dad never worried. He grew up poor in a cabin in the woods that didn’t have water. They hunted and foraged for most of their food. Dad is a great hunter. He used to take us on these long camping trips all the time before mom died and he taught us everything he knew about hunting and wilderness survival. So he was confident Sue could handle herself. That’s the Dad side of Sue. They both have a connection to nature. She was an expert in the woods. She would regularly scoff at her friends for over packing during their outings.
“All I need is my hatchet, some matches and my wits” she would boast.
She left for her trip Friday afternoon saying she was going about 3 hours west near the coast to this spot we used to go to when we were younger. Security cameras at a local gas station show her pumping gas at around 6pm Friday night, about 50 miles northeast of where she was headed. That’s the last time anyone saw her. The camera footage was fuzzy but we could tell it was her because she was wearing her lucky jacket. This ugly purple windbreaker from the 90’s. It was our moms. Sue always wore it when she went camping.
Local pd organized a search party and they got started right away. The sheriff warned us as gently as he could not to get our hopes up. “There’s no telling how long she’s been lost out there and we’ve already missed the the crucial 48 hour period for finding a missing person. Chances of finding her are slim and chances of finding her alive are even slimmer.”
Dad was a wreck, but he insisted they try. So they did. The whole thing was massive, way bigger than I expected. They organized hundreds of volunteers and they covered acre after acre, meticulously scanning every inch of terrain looking for something, anything that might lead to Sue. They searched for 8 days. They called in dogs and helicopters and didn’t find a thing. The Sheriff said there was a storm coming in and they’d done all they could.
“We’ll keep looking if you want us to but we’ve exhausted every resource at our disposal and can’t risk more lives searching in the storm. We’ll have to wait until it passes to resume and by then there’s no telling the damage done by the weather.” The sheriff said bluntly
Dad said “No. I can’t take anymore. Between the media and trips to the morgue identifying bodies, I can’t take anymore. Let these people go back to their families” he started weeping softly.
“You fucking coward” I growled at him. “How can you just give up on Sue like this?”
“Hey, go easy son.” The sheriff said with a hint of compassion I hadn’t expected from him.
I turned on him. “I’m not your son, asshole. This is my sister we’re talking about here. She’s out there somewhere and it’s your fucking job to find her.”
The sheriff turned bright red. It was obvious that he was angry but he took a breath and spoke calmly. “As I just told your father, we’ve exhausted all of our resources. We’re doing our best but…”
“Your best?” I cut him off. “Your best clearly isn’t fucking good enough. If it were, you would have found her by now.”
The sheriff sighed and spoke plainly. “Look kid, I’m going to level with you here. The odds of finding her are next to impossible. We didn’t know precisely where to look in the first place now with the rain coming and washing away any potential evidence. There isn’t anything else we can do.”
My anger began to subside at the realization that he was being earnest. “We can move the search south. We haven’t even looked in the area she was headed!”
“We pinged her cell phone 20 miles away from the campgrounds and we found her car less than half a mile from the phone. That’s the area we needed to focus our efforts. Anything else would’ve been a waste of time we never had to begin with.” He was starting to shout but he calmed himself and took another breath.
“What if she crashed or something and went to the camp because we knew she was supposed to be going there?” I pleaded, grasping at any logic that might help my cause.
“She didn’t crash her car.” He said “You know that. It was just abandoned. No signs of struggle and all of her belongings were there except her cell phone and her jacket. You attested to that yourself.”
“Yeah but listen, you don’t know Sue. She…”
“No you listen!“ This time he did shout. “It’s been 8 days! Those woods are thick and she had no supplies. With the amount of time she’s been missing and the weather out there, not to mention the wildlife. There’s no way she made it through to the camp grounds. No one could survive that.”
“Sue could.” I said defiantly. “If anyone could it’s Sue. She’s a great rock climber, she knows first aid, how to start a fire, how to make shelter, she can hunt and forage. She could be out there still!”
After a long pause Dad finally spoke up. “No. It’s over.” He stood and his eyes met mine. They were starting to well up again. “The sheriff is right. It’s been too long. We can’t keep asking these people to devote all of their time on this. It’s not fair to tear them from their families in an attempt to fix ours.”
He sat back down and sunk his head. Just staring at his empty hands.
“I’m not giving up on her. Mom wouldn’t. And she’d be ashamed of you if she were here.”
He didn’t look up. He didn’t even flinch. He just kept staring at those empty hands. I lingered for a moment hoping he’d look up at me. Hoping my slight would garner some response, anything at all. But it didn’t. He just kept his gaze fixed on his hands. I left the police station without saying anything. I was angry but I was determined. I was going to find my sister.
I packed a bag of supplies and I hitched a ride headed south. I started searching the camp ground where she was headed. It was a long shot, but this was Sue’s favorite place to camp so I figured I’d start there and go north and check the area between here and where the phone was pinged just to be certain. Asking anyone I saw if they’d seen anything, showing them pictures of Sue and handing out missing posters. No one had seen a thing.
On the first day I saw a couple with a small boy, maybe 6 years old, camping at a site near the entrance of the grounds. They were struggling to put up their tent. They were arguing with each other and were obviously irritated. I didn’t want to bother them but I couldn’t risk missing any information. I had to talk to everyone.
“Hey folks! I’m really sorry to bug you but I’m…”
“Can’t you see we’re busy?” The woman turned and screamed at me. “Yes. I’m sorry ma’am. It’s just I’m looking for….” I started to grab for a missing poster to show them but she interrupted again.
“I don’t give a fuck what you’re looking for!” She roared. “It’s getting dark and we need to get this done so our kid has a place to sleep tonight!”
I was stunned. But I dared to try again. “I understand that ma’am I just need to ask you if you….” This time it was the husband
“Dude! She said fuck off! We’re in the woods, so why don’t you take a hike?”
I stared angrily at him for a second and he straightened his posture like he was about pounce at me. I held up the poster and his posture relaxed.
“My sister.” I said flatly, all courtesy had left my voice. “She’s missing. I shoved the poster at him. I looked him in the eye and he looked away, embarrassed. I stared for a second and then turned to leave.
He called after me. “Hey man!”
I turned around ready for an altercation, “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. We haven’t seen anything but if we do…” he held up the poster. “…we’ll give you a call.”
I eased up “Thanks.”
I left and they returned to their task but they were no longer arguing. They weren’t saying anything. I passed their little boy as I left and shot him a smile. He was drawing a rainbow in the dirt with a stick. He looked at me blankly and pointed at the woods I was headed towards.
“Billy Crandall at my school says that the woods are haunted. I told him about our trip and he said.”
I smirked and knelt down to talk to him. “I think Billy was just trying to scare you.”
“Not uh! He said his brother came here with his friends and they saw a ghost!” He assured me confidently.
“Did they? Well you know ghosts can’t hurt you right?” I asked trying to put him at ease.
“Really?” he asked, intrigued by the notion.
“Yeah it’s true. They’re just lost people trying to find their way home.” I smiled then I thought of Sue and my smile faded.
“Like your sister?” He asked as if he was reading my mind.
“Yeah. How did you know that?” I was a little bewildered.
“I just heard you talking to my mommy and daddy.”
“Oh. Right.” Obviously. “Well see ya later kid.” I said a little shaky. “Stay where your folks can see you ok?”
“I will.” He said and went back to his dirt drawing.
“That was weird” I thought. I left but something didn’t sit well. I looked back and the kid looked up from his drawing. He smiled and waved jovially. I returned it.
“Im going crazy” I thought and continued on.
After 3 days of searching I was starting to lose hope. Maybe the sheriff was right. Maybe there wasn’t anything to find out here. I was starting to consider giving up and going home. That’s when I ran into a group of campers walking down a trail out of the woods.
“Hey guys I’m looking for my sister. She was coming out this way to come camping by herself. Shes 24 ,thin, blonde and she was wearing this old purple windbreaker. This is a picture of her. Have you guys seen anything?”
A tall guy with shaggy hair looked irritated. “Seen anything? No, we haven’t seen much of anything. We were only here one night and now we’ve gotta pack it up and go home cause apparently wittle wisa is ascared of ghosts” he said mockingly towards the girl behind him who was visibly shaken.
“Give it a rest Mark!” Another girl said while trying to console the quivering Lisa.
“Lisa is it?” I said to her trying to keep my tone soft and even. “Lisa this is my sister Sue. She’s been missing for a while now and I’m very worried about her. Anything you can tell me would be really helpful here. What did you see out there?”
After some consideration Lisa finally spoke without looking up. “I haven’t seen your sister. I didn’t SEE anyone. I heard…. Something.”
“Wait. What do you mean?” I asked
“It happened last night right after we all went to bed. I heard something. I don’t know. At first I thought it was someone laughing but it started getting louder and it was the same sound but now it was like someone was crying. I got up to check what it was and as soon as I stepped out of the tent it stopped. I was about to go back to bed when it started again. It was so loud like screaming and it was all around me but there wasn’t anyone there. Then…then….” She trailed off and started crying again.
The girl consoling her, Sarah, continued where Lisa had left off.
“We found her this morning down by the creek. She was just curled in a ball crying. It was an hour before she could tell us what happened. “
“She’s just doing it for attention! No one else heard anything last night. God, this happens everytime! Poor wittle Wisa has to make it all about her and spoil everyone’s good time!”
“I said shut up Mark!” Sarah snapped back. “We ALL voted and decided to leave and bring Lisa home.”
Mark huffed, “Whatever.” And continued down the trail.
Sarah looked at me apologetically, “I’m sorry about that” she said with a glance towards Mark. “We haven’t seen anyone else out here. But we’ll keep our eyes open on the way back to town.”
“Thanks a lot. Here!” I said, reaching into my bag for a missing poster. “Take this. If you see anything please call the number at the top.” I tried for a smile but couldn’t manage it.
As I started back up the trail, Lisa grabbed my arm. She was small but she was strong. I turned to look at her and I was met with her teary eyes wide and full of fear
“You can’t go up there!” She pleaded, her grip on my arm tightened.
“I have to. I have to find my sister!”
I think she could see that I was determined because her grip loosened a bit when I said it but she still had that scared look in her eyes.
“Just. Be careful.” Her gaze shifted to the woods behind me. “There is something out there. Something in the dark.”
I pried her hand from my arm and held it gently. I said “I’ll be ok. I can handle myself out here.”
She chuckled, exhausted, with no amusement. “Just be careful.” She repeated softly as she began to slowly weep again.
“I’ll be careful.” With that they turned and met their group headed back down the trail. Something inside me said I should keep going. It felt off but it was so strong. So I continued on.
I hiked for a couple more hours and didn’t see anyone else.
“I guess the recent weather was more than most folks can handle.” I thought to myself
The sun was starting to set when I came to a small clearing and collapsed. I was exhausted and defeated. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. 12 days she’s been missing (officially) and I still hadn’t found anything. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe the sheriff and dad were right. There’s no way she could’ve made it this far. Maybe she really is…*sigh*. I pushed the thought away
“Alright it’s too late to do anything else tonight. I’ll camp here and push a little further and if I don’t find anything useful by midday I’ll pack it in.” I said aloud, bargaining with myself.
So I made a fire and set up my tent. I finished just as the sun had finally set. I had a quick dinner of canned beans and then I was off to bed. I put out the fire and started making my way into the tent. Just then there was a rustling from the trees to my right. I stood straight up and looked in that direction but it was hard see anything in the dark. I could almost make out the silhouette of a woman but the figure was too tall. My eyes must be playing tricks. What Lisa said must have gotten to me. As I strained to focus on the strange figure in front of me, there was another rustling in the trees behind me. I turned around as quick as I could. Nothing there.
“I’m just being crazy. Scaring myself with ghost stories. It’s time for bed.” As I was getting in the tent something brushed past me. I whirled around and still there was nothing but darkness.
“Ok I’m really starting to lose it. There’s nothing there.” I halfheartedly tried to convince myself. I got in the tent in a hurry and zipped it up quick. I went in my bag and grabbed a flashlight but I didn’t turn it on. My instincts told me not to announce my location.
I just laid there for a while gripping the flashlight trying not to think about anything. I started to drift to sleep.
I couldn’t have been asleep more than ten minutes when the rustling started again and woke me up. It was coming from both sides of the tent now. Still gripping the flashlight, I decided to pop my head out and see what was going on. Now armed with my trusty flashlight, my confidence began to return and my nerves started to settle. I’ll poke my head out, shine the light and see nothing but the wind dancing through the trees. Easier said than done. Slowly I reached for the zipper of the tent. Determined to prove it was all in my head but still cautious just in case. I pulled the zipper up as quietly as I possibly could, just enough to fit my head and the flashlight through. I turned the light on and looked to my left where it had started originally and… nothing. I looked to the right. Nothing. Just the wind after all.
A mix of relief and embarrassment washed over me. I turned off the flashlight and started laughing at myself as I zipped up the tent. Still laughing softly I lied back down. Then another laugh, but not my own. It was quiet but it was there, faint yet so familiar. I knew that laugh. SUE! I jumped up and flew out of the tent. Fumbling to get the flashlight back on, I was spinning in every direction.
“SUE! SUE! Where are you? It’s me! Come on Sue! Tell me where you are!” There was no one there.
But the laughing continued. It started to fade as if it was running from me. Reason gone, I ran into the woods after it. The only thing on my mind was Sue. I don’t know how far I had run but it wasn’t long before I started to tire. When I started to slow the laughing got louder.
“SUE! Where are you Sue? SUUUE!” I shouted into the darkness.
Then it stopped. I fell to my knees and wept.
“Oh Sue! Please! Just tell me where you are!”
I looked up and saw the moon light glinting off of something on a tree close by. I shined the flashlight over it and my heart sank. There, hanging tattered on a branch was Sue's lucky jacket. I ran to it and scoured over it. It was definitely Sue's. She’d written her initials on the tag. But there was something new. Something dried on the inside. It was blood.
I held the jacket close and started to cry again. Then the laughing resumed. But it was different somehow. Now it was like crying. And it was much louder. And closer. It was coming from everywhere. It was all around me. Mocking me. I shined the flashlight back and forth frantically and found nothing. Just the trees rustling. The trees. It was coming from the trees! It was like the trees were howling at me with Sue's voice. That’s when the flashlight went out. I tried manically to get it to work but it was no good. I got up to run and that’s when I saw it. A set of eyes. Glowing red right in front of me. I can’t be certain about anything after that. I was so scared I don’t remember how I got out of the woods and back to the trail. But I remember those eyes. They didn’t seem to be attached to anything. No body, no face. Just those horrible glowing ruby red eyes staring at me. Through me. Into the depths of my being. Then a growl. Not like the faux Sue howling from the trees, all around me. No. This growl was from inside. A thought in my head that wasn’t my own. No words. Just a deep angry growl. A warning. It said without speaking. “She belongs to us”
I couldn’t take anymore. It was maddening. I had to escape. I had to be gone from that darkness. I dropped the flashlight and Sue's jacket and ran. I wasn’t thinking about where I was going or what direction I was headed. I just ran. Then I blacked out.
When I woke up it was still dark out in spite of the sun starting to make its way over the hills in the distance. There was a man there. Startled at the sight of him I jumped up and scrambled backwards.
“Woah! Easy fella! Yer safe now.” He said trying to calm me.
“who. Who are you? Where am I?”
I asked. My head was swimming. I felt dizzy and I fell back against a tree. I shuttered at the feel of its bark and turned around backing slowly way towards the man. Not taking my eyes off the tree.
“It’s ok yer safe now.” He repeated, confused by my demeanor. “My name's Gerald, friends call me Gerry. I was camping down a piece with the missus,” he pointed down the hill.
“I got up fer my morning glory and heard ya screaming up the way.” He pointed back up the hill towards the trees I had run out of.
“Ya were babblin! Screaming bloody murder down the hill. Ya kept hollerin’ ‘I’m sorry Sue! I’m Sorry Sue!’ Then ya collapsed here. I was gunna take ya down to the camp but I didn’t want ya frightenin’ the missus. Weak heart ya know.” He looked me over carefully. “Who’s Sue?” He asked cautiously
I was still groggy. I said distantly, still trying to get my bearings on reality. “Sue? Sue. Sue was my sister she went missing a few weeks ago.”
“Oh.” He said with a tinge of regret for the question. “Well, yer safe now. Ya can take yer time and collect yer self. When yer ready come on down to the camp. The missus is brewing some Joe. Cupa Joe’ll do ya some good.” Then he made his way back to his camp site.
“Thanks” I said weakly after him.
When I was certain I wasn’t dreaming I stood up and looked around. The trees were still. There was no more howling. I broke down again and started crying. “I’m sorry Sue. I tried. I’m so sorry.”
After a while I wiped my face and headed toward the man’s camp. The smell of coffee was so soothing my eyes started to water again.
I caught a ride with the couple back to the sheriff station. I didn’t bother going back for my stuff. I just wanted to be out of the woods. I slept most of the way to the station. The man told me I kept whispering “I’m sorry” while I was asleep. When we got to the station I thanked the couple for their help and they drove off. The sheriff met me at the door
“Well well. How’d the search…” he got quiet when he saw my face.
“What happened?” He asked sullenly.
“I’m not sure. I found… something. But it wasn’t Sue.”
“What was it?” He asked. “What did you find?”
“I don’t know. I can’t explain it and you wouldn’t believe me. All I know is, Sue really is gone!” I cried again.
He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug I didn’t expect “I’m sorry son.”
“Me too. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Sue!”
Sue's body was never found. No one knows for sure what happened to her. I can’t be sure of what I saw in the woods that night. I told the sheriff everything that happened. Every detail. I didn’t want to but he insisted. They searched the area, they found my campsite and even found my flashlight. He said it was working fine when they found it. They never found her jacket.
I can’t be sure it wasn’t just one big nightmare but if it were how’d my flashlight get out there? I don’t know. I try not to think about it. I moved to the city after that. The thought of trees surrounding me still gives me the chills. It didn’t help much. A little but not much. I still see those eyes sometimes late at night hiding in the darkness. And sometimes I can still hear Sue howling in my nightmares, alone in the dark.